I have been away – not physically – but mentally for almost a month. I was present and writing daily, and then one day I was a little too tired and swish, down a rabbit hole I went, tumbling head over heel until I soon landed at the bottom with a soft thump. I wasn’t hurt or bruised or even shaken up, but instead felt cushioned and safe, not far away, but in a new place, where I have remained until now. Today, I stretched just a bit and broke right back up to the surface again, refreshed and eager to reach out and reconnect.
It’s not that I have been disconnected from people over the past month. We had two sets of friends from Illinois and Massachusetts visit us here in LA for a total of three weeks. Also, we had friends from Wales who visited LA and, though they didn’t stay with us, we saw them several times over the month. All of these people are old and dear friends of ours so having them around felt familiar, safe, and happy. However, after that much talking, I will admit to feeling a little “talked out.”
I also spent five days with Sarah and her family in Ensenada on a rare visit without Ray. The house was quieter without my boisterous husband there and I missed him, but I also enjoyed the chance to have a very low-key visit with Sarah, Gregorio and the kids. I even said to Sarah one day, “I don’t have a whole lot to say, I hope that’s okay.” She laughed. “Don’t worry, Mom. I almost never have a lot to say.” We cooked, walked the beaches, watched the kids swim in the pool, and watched movies at night. It was lovely.
Finally, over the past week or so, I have faced an attention-squeeze that occurs four times of the year when the deadline for the online classes I coordinate coincides with the deadline for articles I write for the quarterly Story Circle Network Journal, both of which coincide with the quarterly SCN board meeting, for which I am expected to produce not only a report on the health of the online classes and webinars but also a comprehensive (and hopefully somewhat inspiring) president’s letter to the board. So, that’s where I’ve been.
Today, I am sitting in my little office on a writing Zoom call with my writing friend, Michael. He and I meet, talk for about ten minutes, then write the rest of the 1 1/2 hours we’re together. So, that’s why and how this blog post is occurring. It’s 2:10 in the afternoon rather than 8:10 at night and I have carved out a little time where I can write without being too tired. Viola! Not that I’m waxing philosophic here but I am at least writing again. I have been trying to figure out how to break back into my blog writing so that I can get back into my previous rhythm.
I hope you are all well. Of course, I know the world news is distressing and we’ve all been worried about that. Plus, there’s that pesky new strain of Covid and then the news that Will Smith hit Chris Rock at the Oscars only a little while before being named Best Actor this year. Yes, we’re all carrying around quite a lot of tension, aren’t we? Though I have not seen footage of that event, I have read a few news reports. As Ray said, “It doesn’t appear to be a good time to do a lot of joking.”
That said, I’d also like to share that my beloved little granddaughter Lyla turned three yesterday and enjoyed a lot of quiet free-play with Legos during her birthday picnic with family and friends. She seemed pleased that people were there but not overly preoccupied with anything besides those Legos. She was the perfect little Zen girl, living right in the moment. As for her grandma, I was delighted to see Gregorio’s mom from Mexico and many of Sarah and Gregorio’s friends, many with new babies since our last rendezvous prior to Covid-19. A lovely afternoon indeed.
Wishing you all well. I hope to get back to my normal writing routine. Between then and now, let me just say I’ve missed you and I’m happy to be back in touch.
6 Comments Add yours
Len, your rabbit hole seems to me the disenchantment, disenfranchisement that we’ve all felt lately due to the state of the world. But I guess we know we can’t lollygag there forever, so, like you, I’m back in the real world today. At least I hope I am. And I welcome you there too.
Thank you, Judy. Yes, I’m sure it was a combination of company, work and disturbing national and international events. No, we can’t lollygag. You are so right. Thanks for the welcome back! Loved your podcast, by the way.
You know how much I love you and am grateful for your authentic, vulnerable sharing. You give us all permission to feel what we’re feeling and also leave us with a sense we too will come out of the rabbit hole a little better off then when we dropped down into it. Thanks.
Thank you, my friend. I appreciate you saying that. It’s easy to go tumbling in this topsy-turvy time.
The rabbit hole is such a safe and healing place to go sometimes. I’ve been there lately myself, Len…. and still am. In my moving process, I’ve not got internet yet and my phone is not working well wither. This time is giving me space to listen to me carefully and is proving to be immensely helpful. Sending a big hug to welcome you back as I return to the rabbit hole for a little longer. Love your photos and joy with time with friends and family. xo
Thank you, Mary Jo. Moving to new environs would motivate some “rabbit hole” time. It takes a while to resettle and refocus. Happy you see that rabbit hole as a happy and healthy place, which it surely is. Big hugs back to you, my dear.