Seven-year-old granddaughter Luna had a lot of fun today “shocking” Grandma by using the word “fart” in several variations in her story today. She giggled several times and even said at one point, “I can’t believe we’re writing about Fartsburg,” but I decided to just enjoy the writing process with her. As it turned out, the story is pretty darned good, even with the farts. Or as Luna’s grandpa would say, “Probably because of them!”

The Big Hike

Hannah and Brigitte lived in Fartsburg, which was a huge city in the United States. Their city got its name because at the time of cavemen, they all came to that place and farted.

Hannah was 13 and Brigitte was 11 and they wanted to travel to the city of Los Angeles, but their mom said no. She said they couldn’t go because there was a huge sickness there called Covid-19 and it was dangerous to be there.  

Hannah and Brigitte understood they couldn’t go to Los Angeles, but instead they decided to walk to the top of a hill near LA so they could at least see what the city looked like.  Their problem was that the hill where they wanted to go was 4 miles away and they had to walk or run to get there. 

Their mom told them they could go to the top of the hill, but they needed to be careful because there were rattlesnakes there. So, Hannah and Brigitte took water and snacks with them so they didn’t get dehydrated or hungry. They also chose to wear two big hats to protect them from the sun.

They left early in the morning since they were going to be walking a total of 8 miles. They packed breakfast and fart snacks, which were energy bars that smelled a little bit like a fart. Off they went in their comfortable tennis shoes and they took a cell phone in case they needed to call their mom.

As they went along, they were having fun, drinking their water and eating their breakfast. But then, Brigitte looked at Hannah and said, “Uh oh, I need to go to the bathroom.” Hannah shook her head. “There’s no bathroom here. We’re on a hike.”

“Well, I still have to go!” Brigitte said. Hannah said, “Wait just a second, Brigitte!” Hannah gathered up a pile of rocks, put them in a circle and said, “There you go. You can go to the bathroom right there.”

Brigitte did her business and they started again on their walk.

Up the hill they went, drinking more water all the time, when all of a sudden, they saw a big, fangy rattlesnake lying right next to the path. 

Hannah looked at Brigitte and said, “What do we do about that?” pointing at the snake.

Brigitte said, “I don’t know! Maybe we can go all the way to the other side of the path very quietly and slowly.” So, that’s what they did and the snake hissed at them, but slithered away the opposite direction.

Up, up, and up they went to the top of the hill. There before their eyes was the city of Los Angeles, spreading out in all directions. The day was very clear and they could see all the way to the Pacific Ocean. It was beautiful. Hannah and Brigitte both said at the same time, “I wish Mommy could see this!”

After another snack, they headed back down the path. But the day was getting hotter and hotter. They drank the final drops of their water just after they left the top of the hill. By the time, they got halfway down, they were very thirsty, but they didn’t have any more water. By the time they got three-quarters of the way down, they were both sweating heavily and starting to get really dehydrated. By the time they reached the bottom of the hill, they were both so thirsty they had headaches and were nauseated. By this point, they were only one mile from home, but they didn’t think they could make it.

“Let’s call Mom,” Hannah said.

Brigitte said, “Great idea.”

So, they sat on a rock and called their mother, who jumped in the car and came and picked them up.

“Wow, you two look really dehydrated,” their mom said. “Here, I brought you both a big bottle of water.”

Hannah and Brigitte were glad they went on their hike and they were glad to see the huge city of Los Angeles. But they learned two things on the hike. First, to always bring plenty of water; and second, that they were glad that Fartsburg was their home.

Luna, the Author