Another thing I find grounding and nourishing in my life is very simple: the small routines of everyday life. Yes, plain old routines.

That means making my bed every morning—not because I enjoy making my bed (I don’t), but because I like how the bedroom looks when it’s made. I also love climbing into a made bed at night instead of one with sheets, blankets, and pillows all a-kilter. There’s something calming about that simple act of order, and my day seems to go better when it begins with that small routine.

Another routine I appreciate is having coffee with Ray every morning. He is often kind enough to bring me coffee in bed, which is quite a treat. But even beyond that, waking up to the smell of coffee brewing somehow makes the whole day feel brighter.

I also like to wash dishes, believe it or not. Yes, I have a dishwasher and use it daily, but I still rinse the dishes beforehand. I enjoy the feel of warm water on my hands and the sight of an empty sink instead of one full of dishes. Sometimes it’s not the task itself that I enjoy, but the result.

Another example is brushing my teeth twice a day and taking a shower at night. Having simple morning and evening routines helps keep my life balanced.

The same is true when it comes to food. I realize these are things most of us do without much thought, but perhaps that’s my point. Paying attention to the small actions that help me feel better makes them easier to return to when I feel a bit like that messy bed I don’t like.

Nutritious food that I enjoy—and that my body responds well to—makes a tremendous difference in how I’m doing. I can go downright cattywampus if I don’t pay attention to what I’m eating. The farther I drift into mindless snacking on chips and other foods that don’t nourish me, the less nourished I actually feel.

I also need—and want—to write daily. Writing is my way of settling my thoughts. Getting words on the page, no matter what they are and how imperfectly they are written, is always better for me than no writing at all. Writing is like the steam valve on a pressure cooker. When I write, the pressure escapes naturally. When I don’t, it builds until I feel like I might just blow.

Other routines nourish me as well: walking through the orange grove, caring for my animals, spending time with people I love, watching television that is either entertaining or educational, and listening to all kinds of music to soothe my sometimes weary soul.

And, no surprise to those who know me, prayer is part of my daily routine. Often. Sometimes I offer a quick prayer. Sometimes I pray almost continuously when I am worried or upset.

I am a great believer in the wisdom of the Twelve Steps and their potential for healing, not only for those struggling with addiction, but for all of us. Life regularly presents problems beyond my control, and I find comfort in admitting that I cannot fix most things, trusting that help exists beyond myself, and consciously surrendering what I cannot handle alone.

The act of surrender is the key. Over and over, I work hard to let go of my tendency to think I can tackle issues all on my own, and to remember that I need help. Sometimes I do this one minute at a time. Sometimes, less often when life is going smoothly. But daily nonetheless.

So routine—ordinary, present, and decidedly unflashy—adds far more quality to my life than I ever would have imagined.

My bed is made, my dishes are washed, and my teeth look pretty decent for a woman my age. Not to mention, those daily showers help keep me smelling good.

Nothing glamorous. Nothing profound.

Just the quiet grace of ordinary life, one small routine at a time.