I realized yesterday that I hadn’t added a hook to the song that I posted a couple of days ago. I had essentially written a poem instead. So, after listening to music all afternoon while I cleaned the garage, I came inside and added what I hope was a decent hook. This also meant that I added a few more stanzas.
I sent the song to my brother Sam with a quiet recording of me singing. This was to give him at least a general idea of what kind of music I thought might fit. He responded that he’d get to work on a tune.
So, while we wait, I thought I’d share my hook and added verses with you. Hopefully, it won’t be too long before we hear Sam’s rendition of our collaboration.
Here is my revision with a new title. (I put my revisions in italics)
Anything Else
I found that silver Phoenix ring you gave to me
It was on the closet shelf way up high
When you slid it on my finger you said to me,
“My love is like that bird, it’ll never die.”
But what you said wasn’t what you meant
You didn’t want the life we shared
Instead you wanted anything else you could find
While you pretended just how much you cared
You wanted…
Anything else besides my love
Anything else except sharing my heart
I’d never be enough
Since you didn’t know how to love me
Anything else is what pulled us apart
Like a wildfire in a summer drought
The love I thought we’d found
Was consumed by a heartless flame
Leaving only ashes on the ground
You wanted…
Anything else besides my love
Anything else except sharing my heart
I’d never be enough
Since you didn’t know how to love me
Anything else pulled us apart
It took a long time but that’s over now
That fire cleansed me to my core
I rose from those ashes, wiser and stronger
And now I am free to soar
I want…
Anything else besides that lonely life
Anything else besides a broken heart
I’m more than enough
And don’t need your love
Anything else means a brand new start
I found that silver Phoenix ring you gave to me
It was on the closet shelf way up high
When I slid it on my finger, I smiled and said,
“I am that bird and I will fly.”

I can’t wait to hear this in verse. Strong words! I’m hooked!
I really like this, even without the ‘hook.” It reminded me of the one time I tried to write a song – and the time many years later that I came across it in a pile of papers and after a bit of thought, discarded it. I’m sorry now that I did. The only thing I remember from it is the refrain: “I’ve got your memories, She’s got you.”