When I was 16, I knew that in my future I wanted a loving husband and several children. I also wanted a career, since I knew, from watching my mother earn her Ph.D. as I was growing up, that intellectual stimulation and economic freedom contributed to happiness. I saw myself in a helping profession, such…
Tag: mental-health
The Practice of Noticing What’s Good
10 Things I Like About Myself If someone asked me to make a list of what I like about myself, I might hesitate at first. It’s not something most of us do very often. But there’s real value in pausing to acknowledge what’s good, solid, and true about who we are. Here’s what came to…
Two Days Until Spain: Lessons in Timing (and Packing)
Ray and I are headed to Spain on Thursday, a few days ahead of the Story Circle Network tour and writing workshop that begins on Monday. I am wrapping up my college and graduate school admission work with my students tomorrow, and so far, so good. All the personal essays and personal statements are strong,…
The View From Here: On Family, Writing, Faith, and the Peace of Enough
When I was younger, I imagined that by the time I reached this stage of life, I’d have quite the list of accomplishments. Surely, I’d be well-traveled, widely read, impressively fit, financially successful, and the proud author of at least three books—all while raising a wonderful family and enjoying a happy marriage. The reality looks…
A Meditation on Joy
Joy is a visceral reaction that is for me less frequent than happiness and also less easily obtained. There is no product to buy that will automatically produce joy – at least to my knowledge – and there is no advertising campaign that aims to sell joy (except, ironically, for a dishwashing liquid). Every consumer…
Friends, Strangers, and the Secret to Long Life
I just watched a TED Talk by psychologist Susan Pinker called “The Secret to Living Longer May Be Your Social Life.” She says the number one predictor for longevity is social integration—not just close relationships with family and friends, but also all those day-to-day connections with people in your community. That means everyone from your…
Letting Go of the White Horse
Over the past few days, I’ve spoken with several people who are carrying heavy emotional loads. One is a parent, deeply worried about an adult child in serious trouble. Another is a friend, watching helplessly as someone close to them faces a terminal illness. In both cases, the operative word is worry. Worry, by definition,…
Grateful Now: A poem about survival, compassion, and the long path to healing
I have held that terrible time against youand against myself for many years now.I felt shame that I found myself in sucha vulnerable situation,embarrassed that I didn’t seewhat must have been obvious—or not,since you were (are) quite adeptat disguising that abusive part of who you are. I have carried that time in my body,shrinking back…
The “Someday” List in Progress
I have a secret dream of becoming a yoga master. Never mind that I’m not currently doing yoga. Is that a requirement for the dream? I’d also like to learn Spanish, travel to Africa, and figure out how to scuba dive. And then there’s sailing—I’d love to learn how to sail and have a place…
The Mother Body: Stories Held in Skin, Softness, and Strength
I used to have a flat stomach. I remember having one at least. I also remember having breasts that were a normal size, not large like I have now, which seem to be the result, at least in part, of seven years of nursing three little girls. Yes, seven. Two, two and three for the…
20 Minutes a Day 