Over the past few days, I’ve spoken with several people who are carrying heavy emotional loads. One is a parent, deeply worried about an adult child in serious trouble. Another is a friend, watching helplessly as someone close to them faces a terminal illness. In both cases, the operative word is worry. Worry, by definition,…
Tag: love
Advice to a Lonely Uber Driver
A couple of weeks ago, I took the train into L.A. and caught an Uber from the Burbank Amtrak Station. During the twenty-five-minute ride to my destination, my driver and I ended up having a straight-to-the-heart conversation about his love life—or, more accurately, his lack of one. It started innocently enough. He asked about my…
The Friend Who Taught Me How to Love
Yesterday was the birthday of my childhood friend, Patricia Jean Butler. Patricia and I met as little girls at Holy Trinity Episcopal Church, and we spent nearly every Sunday morning together—often followed by long afternoons at each other’s homes. Over those many Sundays, we forged an unbreakable bond that carried us through childhood and into…
Grateful Now: A poem about survival, compassion, and the long path to healing
I have held that terrible time against youand against myself for many years now.I felt shame that I found myself in sucha vulnerable situation,embarrassed that I didn’t seewhat must have been obvious—or not,since you were (are) quite adeptat disguising that abusive part of who you are. I have carried that time in my body,shrinking back…
The “Someday” List in Progress
I have a secret dream of becoming a yoga master. Never mind that I’m not currently doing yoga. Is that a requirement for the dream? I’d also like to learn Spanish, travel to Africa, and figure out how to scuba dive. And then there’s sailing—I’d love to learn how to sail and have a place…
To My Son-in-Law, Gregorio Pacheco Ambriz, on His Birthday
Dear Gregorio, It’s hard to believe that it’s been sixteen years since you and Sarah met back in 2009, and thirteen since you two got married. That has been an eventful sixteen years, marked by the addition of your three beautiful children and the life you two have created for yourselves and them. You can…
Rethinking the Third Age: Life After 70
When I was born in the early 1950s, the average life expectancy in the U.S. was around 68 years. That number has risen steadily over the decades—today it’s about 78 for the general population, with women living on average to 81 and men to nearly 76. The gap between men’s and women’s life spans is…
Happy Upcoming Anniversary, Sarah and Gregorio!
This is a piece I wrote back in 2014. Sarah and Gregorio’s wedding date is approaching, 11 years later, and I thought it’d be fun to share the tension that preceded that civil ceremony before their big church wedding near Thanksgiving. Sarah and Gregorio told us several weeks ago that they were going to get…
Flash Fiction: Choice vs No Choice
“What does the phrase, “I didn’t have a choice” mean to you?” the therapist asked her client. “Didn’t have a choice? Hmmm. Yes, that’s what they all say. No choice means not taking responsibility.” Marie stared at her therapist, waiting for her reaction. “Who is ‘they’,” her therapist asked. “What?” “You said, ‘That’s what they…
Combating the Mean Voice in My Head
Dear Mean Voice, I didn’t realize for a long time that you were as active a character in my brain as you are. You were much better then at throwing in a subtle negative comment only occasionally. But now you’ve moved to a new level. You are relentless about tossing in your opinion, which is…
20 Minutes a Day 