I have held that terrible time against youand against myself for many years now.I felt shame that I found myself in sucha vulnerable situation,embarrassed that I didn’t seewhat must have been obvious—or not,since you were (are) quite adeptat disguising that abusive part of who you are. I have carried that time in my body,shrinking back…
Tag: life
The “Someday” List in Progress
I have a secret dream of becoming a yoga master. Never mind that I’m not currently doing yoga. Is that a requirement for the dream? I’d also like to learn Spanish, travel to Africa, and figure out how to scuba dive. And then there’s sailing—I’d love to learn how to sail and have a place…
To My Son-in-Law, Gregorio Pacheco Ambriz, on His Birthday
Dear Gregorio, It’s hard to believe that it’s been sixteen years since you and Sarah met back in 2009, and thirteen since you two got married. That has been an eventful sixteen years, marked by the addition of your three beautiful children and the life you two have created for yourselves and them. You can…
Flash Memoir: A Buick, an Embankment, and Grace
This is a story that happened a few years back right around this time of year. I would say this is the very closest I’ve ever come to facing my dying moment – and killing poor Ray in the process. Thank God for a little Divine intervention when we both really needed it. I have…
Flash Essay: The Past Five Years
Over the past five years, my life has transformed in some significant ways. First, two and a half years ago, my fourth grandchild was born. This would not be such a huge event (more than the birth of my three other grandkids) but Ethan’s birth helped propel a decision that Ray and I had been…
Rethinking the Third Age: Life After 70
When I was born in the early 1950s, the average life expectancy in the U.S. was around 68 years. That number has risen steadily over the decades—today it’s about 78 for the general population, with women living on average to 81 and men to nearly 76. The gap between men’s and women’s life spans is…
Reflections on a Sweet Bonhi Reunion
The biggest frustration with a Friday evening, all-day Saturday high school reunion is simple: there’s not enough time. Not enough time to sit, settle in, and have a real, meaty conversation with old friends. Just a quick hug, a handful of sentences to catch up, then—before you know it—someone else walks up for their own…
The Art of Getting Lost on the Page
If you’ve taken one of my personal essay classes, you’ve probably heard me say this more than once: Use your writing to discover something you didn’t know when you started. That’s not just teacher talk. It’s how the best essays—especially the personal kind—find their legs. Here’s the thing. When you sit down with the intention…
Happy Upcoming Anniversary, Sarah and Gregorio!
This is a piece I wrote back in 2014. Sarah and Gregorio’s wedding date is approaching, 11 years later, and I thought it’d be fun to share the tension that preceded that civil ceremony before their big church wedding near Thanksgiving. Sarah and Gregorio told us several weeks ago that they were going to get…
Flash Fiction: Choice vs No Choice
“What does the phrase, “I didn’t have a choice” mean to you?” the therapist asked her client. “Didn’t have a choice? Hmmm. Yes, that’s what they all say. No choice means not taking responsibility.” Marie stared at her therapist, waiting for her reaction. “Who is ‘they’,” her therapist asked. “What?” “You said, ‘That’s what they…
20 Minutes a Day 