The car looked like a Model T, or what was left of it. It was more rightly, the carcass of a Model T with no wheels or tires, no engine, no seats. Only the body of the old car, rusted, bent, and disheveled, like an old woman with too many miles and too much booze. …
Tag: life
Why I Bought Three Pairs of the Same Boots
Living in Ojai during the fall, winter, and spring months has taught me just how chilly the evenings can get. It’s not unusual for temperatures to dip into the high 30s in winter, or the low to mid-40s in fall and spring. That’s where my favorite footwear comes in. I have a pair of Clark’s…
A Meditation on Joy
Joy is a visceral reaction that is for me less frequent than happiness and also less easily obtained. There is no product to buy that will automatically produce joy – at least to my knowledge – and there is no advertising campaign that aims to sell joy (except, ironically, for a dishwashing liquid). Every consumer…
First Job, Lasting Lessons
When I was a sophomore in high school circa 1968, my friend and fellow band member, Cathi Wait, mentioned one day in band practice that she was working at McKnight’s Drug Store in the pharmacy department. “I love working there,” Cathy said, “and they have an opening at the soda fountain now.” We agreed by…
Friends, Strangers, and the Secret to Long Life
I just watched a TED Talk by psychologist Susan Pinker called “The Secret to Living Longer May Be Your Social Life.” She says the number one predictor for longevity is social integration—not just close relationships with family and friends, but also all those day-to-day connections with people in your community. That means everyone from your…
Letting Go of the White Horse
Over the past few days, I’ve spoken with several people who are carrying heavy emotional loads. One is a parent, deeply worried about an adult child in serious trouble. Another is a friend, watching helplessly as someone close to them faces a terminal illness. In both cases, the operative word is worry. Worry, by definition,…
Advice to a Lonely Uber Driver
A couple of weeks ago, I took the train into L.A. and caught an Uber from the Burbank Amtrak Station. During the twenty-five-minute ride to my destination, my driver and I ended up having a straight-to-the-heart conversation about his love life—or, more accurately, his lack of one. It started innocently enough. He asked about my…
Grateful Now: A poem about survival, compassion, and the long path to healing
I have held that terrible time against youand against myself for many years now.I felt shame that I found myself in sucha vulnerable situation,embarrassed that I didn’t seewhat must have been obvious—or not,since you were (are) quite adeptat disguising that abusive part of who you are. I have carried that time in my body,shrinking back…
The “Someday” List in Progress
I have a secret dream of becoming a yoga master. Never mind that I’m not currently doing yoga. Is that a requirement for the dream? I’d also like to learn Spanish, travel to Africa, and figure out how to scuba dive. And then there’s sailing—I’d love to learn how to sail and have a place…
To My Son-in-Law, Gregorio Pacheco Ambriz, on His Birthday
Dear Gregorio, It’s hard to believe that it’s been sixteen years since you and Sarah met back in 2009, and thirteen since you two got married. That has been an eventful sixteen years, marked by the addition of your three beautiful children and the life you two have created for yourselves and them. You can…
20 Minutes a Day 