One of the biggest reasons I hesitated to publish my novel Hope in a Time of Dying was because it was inspired by real life, and several of my family members play recognizable roles in the story. I worried that readers would assume the characters were exact portraits of my loved ones, and that every…
Tag: books
A Small Crowd, Big Connection: A Different Kind of Book Reading in Ojai
Today, I arrived at 1:30 for my 2 pm book reading and signing at the Ojai Public Library. I met Ellie, the librarian, who escorted Ray and me to the meeting room, and we worked out all the logistics: thermostat, seating, bathroom location, etc., then put out my in-law Cindy’s excellent cookies along with mineral…
Similes Gone Wrong (and Right)
I know, I know—a deep dive into similes isn’t what most people rush to read. Dear Lord, you might think, just how wacked-out has this poor woman gotten that she is now worrying herself silly about the difficulty of a simple figure of speech? Dear, dear, the poor thing needs a vacation where there is…
Writing Advice: If I Think It’s Brilliant, It Probably Isn’t
I’ve come to understand that real writing doesn’t even begin until the crappy writing is on the page. Only then do I have the breathing room to go back and shape it into something as good as I can make it—at the level I’m currently writing. Sure, part of the process is about refining, growing,…
Be Bold, Be Steady: What My Teachers Have Taught Me
I’ve been thinking lately about the writers who shaped me. My writing path has been a long one—starting with essays, moving into novels, and then finding a home for a while in flash: flash fiction, flash memoir, and flash essay. After my two brothers died of AIDS, I began a memoir that eventually evolved into…
Rethinking the Third Age: Life After 70
When I was born in the early 1950s, the average life expectancy in the U.S. was around 68 years. That number has risen steadily over the decades—today it’s about 78 for the general population, with women living on average to 81 and men to nearly 76. The gap between men’s and women’s life spans is…
The Art of Getting Lost on the Page
If you’ve taken one of my personal essay classes, you’ve probably heard me say this more than once: Use your writing to discover something you didn’t know when you started. That’s not just teacher talk. It’s how the best essays—especially the personal kind—find their legs. Here’s the thing. When you sit down with the intention…
Flash Fiction: Two Different Approaches to Living
The light was soft in the room, and the windows were covered by three lines of bookshelves that allowed the sunlight to come in but also diffused it. A long built-in wooden couch with lime green cushions and splashes of orange and yellow pillows ran right below the bookshelves. Jacob lay sprawled on the couch,…
Congratulations to Marie Howe for Her Pulitzer Prize in Poetry!
I love Marie Howe’s poetry. It is accessible, heartfelt, and beautifully expressed. I first saw her when she was a guest on fellow poet Billy Collins’s Masterclass and she read her poem, “What the Living Do,” which expresses her grief over losing her brother John to AIDS in 1889. I lost two brothers, John and…
What Love Looks Like With a Little Help from Viktor Frankl
The best lesson I’ve learned about love is this: the greatest gift I can offer another person is to stop whatever I’m doing, listen — really listen — to what they’re saying, and then make the effort to see the world through their eyes. It sounds simple enough, but it’s not, especially when the other…
20 Minutes a Day 