On Friday, Ray and I made the train trip south to Oceanside to see a student of mine, her husband, and two of her closest friends, all vacationing from Washington State. Kathie and I know each other from Story Circle Network, a 27-year-old nonprofit that encourages women to tell their stories. Kathie has taken classes with me through this organization and also privately, and over the years, we have bonded. Though we communicate several times per week, we had never met in person—until Friday.

Kathie was there to meet us at the train station when we arrived at 10:38 a.m. I recognized her instantly, no surprise given how often we see each other on Zoom. What surprised me, however, was that she was taller than I expected and that her eyes were much bluer than Zoom could capture. James was waiting for us in the car, and though I had only seen him before in a few photographs Kathie had shared, he was very much as I had imagined him: a hint of a Mississippi accent and a relaxed, open face.

We visited their Airbnb, met their adorable border collie–golden retriever mix, and over coffee began sharing snippets of our life stories. This continued over lunch at the harbor, on our walk along the ocean, and throughout our visit with their best friends, Lee and Patty, whom we met at their condo complex.

It’s hard to capture in words the natural connection I felt with Kathie, James, Lee, and Patty. It was as if we simply picked up where we had left off at another time and in another place, somewhere not-too-far-away. Ray was right there too, and I was surprised by the level of intimate sharing that unfolded right from the start. Of course, Kathie and Lee have each been psychotherapists for fifty years, so they may have some well-honed skills for encouraging openness and honesty. Patty, a retired principal and teacher, brought her own “tell me everything” instincts to the table as well.

The gist: our five-and-a-half-hour visit felt about two weeks too short. I was genuinely sorry when it was time to leave and catch the train back to Ventura late in the afternoon. I could have happily spent a much longer time with these four people—and Ray—without running out of things to say.

Thank you, Kathie, James, Lee, and Patty, for opening your hearts to Ray and me and for hugging us tight. Your comfort in your own skin invited both Ray and me to relax and be fully present with you. What a gift it was to feel so thoroughly embraced.

Looking forward to a longer rendezvous in the future.

Big hugs to all.

James, Kathie, and Ray at the Oceanside beach

At a harbor restaurant in Oceanside with Ray, James, and Kathie

James, Ray, and Len

James and Lee

Patty (perhaps not the best photo!) and I, listening (and reacting) to the conversation around us.