When I was 16, I knew that in my future I wanted a loving husband and several children. I also wanted a career, since I knew, from watching my mother earn her Ph.D. as I was growing up, that intellectual stimulation and economic freedom contributed to happiness. I saw myself in a helping profession, such as psychology, like my mother, or else teaching at a university. I had no doubt that I would get an advanced degree – at least a Master’s – and I wanted to travel and see the world. I also knew that I wanted to live in a city for a while since I had grown up in a small Texas town and was already aware of the pros and cons of that life. I hadn’t ruled out living in North Central Texas, where I’d grown up, but I knew for sure that I wanted to go out into the world and see what else was out there.

Now that I am long past 16, I have accomplished a few of the things I planned. I earned a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and lived in Italy for a year right after graduating from college. I have also traveled to Europe quite a few times throughout my life. Plus, I have that loving husband and three beautiful children, along with three beloved sons-in-law and four darling grandkids. However, the rest of my life is not as I had planned.

First, I lived in Beverly Hills for 32 years, a place that conjures up a whole host of images for most people, including me. I am far from the stereotypical BH resident, but I was actively involved with the school system there, worked with countless parents and students over the years, and made some good friends along the way. I would never have dreamed that would be part of my life story. Second, I worked as a professional therapist for only a few years and have instead spent most of my adult life buying and selling antiques, writing both fiction and nonfiction, and working with students on all aspects of writing. I could never have anticipated that shift in my focus when I was sixteen. Third, I have not traveled as extensively as I would have liked – I have only been to Europe, Mexico, and Canada – and I would like very much to see more of the world before I die. I guess that remains to be seen.

So, the question is: has this change from my anticipated life at 16 to the one I have now been good? The answer is more complicated than one might first think. Of course, I am grateful for my family. They make up the best part of my life, and I couldn’t be more thankful for their presence. Also, I love that my life has been more adventurous than I expected, which has been a plus. However, what I couldn’t have known at 16 is that life is unpredictable, which makes planning a bit trickier than one might imagine.

For example:

How could I have known that I was going to marry a man who would open my eyes to the world of art, antiques, and design? I might have stifled a small laugh at that possibility when I was 16.

How could I have anticipated that my reason to come to Los Angeles would be to care for my brother who had contracted AIDS? I had never heard of this disease when I was 16 years old because it did not exist then.

How could I have guessed that my passion for writing would be the primary reason I would land a teaching job (without a teaching certificate) at one of the premier private schools in LA? I had never even heard of this school before I answered their blind ad in the LA Times.

How could I ever have predicted that teaching only one short year at that school would give me enough referral sources to last these past 25 years as a private writing teacher, with the freedom to make my own schedule so that I could be home with my children and have more time for my own writing?

How could I have anticipated that I would end up living in an orange grove in California, in the beautiful Ojai valley, surrounded by mountains and twelve miles from the ocean?

The answer is: I couldn’t have.

What I know now that I didn’t know at 16 is that “unknowns” periodically present themselves in life, and these unexpected circumstances have a way of shifting one’s path in directions that could never have been anticipated.

So, of course, I am happy that my life has been as full, rich, and blessed as it is. I am even happier to know that more zigzags will crop up on my life’s path in the future. Thank God for those unanticipated turns. They so often make all the difference.