Over the past five years, my life has transformed in some significant ways.

First, two and a half years ago, my fourth grandchild was born. This would not be such a huge event (more than the birth of my three other grandkids) but Ethan’s birth helped propel a decision that Ray and I had been contemplating for a long time: a move to Ojai from Beverly Hills. Ethan’s parents had relocated to our orange grove up in Ojai several years before and the idea of moving up there was greatly magnified by the prospect of offering some help to two new parents while also getting to see this new family member on a daily basis. So, while Ethan’s birth was not the sole reason we decided to move, it heavily influenced our decision.

Second, our move up to Ojai from Beverly Hills was monumental. We had lived in our home for thirty years and we not only had our clothes and household items there, but also a full antique and collectibles eBay business along with a backyard that had been transformed into a nursery for a wide variety of plants that helped supply my husband’s landscape and design business. Plus, my husband is an antique collector in his own right, so we simply had more stuff than the average family. It took many trips the 70 miles up and back to Ojai to get everything to the orange grove, and has since taken us a very long time to get things squared away in their rightful place. The truth is we are still working on that with some of the collectibles, but we are making positive inroads. Also, we built several buildings in the orange grove: a den and half bath that recreated our den in Beverly Hills, an office for me, a new family room for Liz and Ron, and a freestanding bathroom and shower, which are spread over 2 1/2 acres inside of inside a two-story 3 bedroom/2 bath house. Finally, once in Ojai, we have had to learn the ins and outs of living in a new place, which has been just fine since we are in no hurry in that regard. The best part of the move is that Ethan and his mom and dad are now much more in our daily lives, which is a major treat. Also, our daughter Rachael comes up for 2 1/2 days a week to work with us, and we are learning how to navigate our greater physical distance from Sarah, Gregorio, and their kids (45 minutes from BH versus 1 1/2 hours from Ojai) by making a lot more of an effort to plan visits back and forth.

Third, in the past six months I have published my first (of what I hope are several) novels, and this has been its own unexpectedly wonderful experience. I had no idea how pushing past my fear of publishing was going to open up my life in all sorts of ways. I didn’t realize that fear had been making me cautious in many aspects of my life and perhaps even a little jaded without me even knowing it. Once I took the risk to decide I would publish, it was as if a floodgate opened filled with help, kind words, and bonafide “I’m here to assist you” sort of experiences. I had no idea up until that point just how generous people can be with their time, expertise, and plain ole goodwill. I have been the unexpected recipient of such kindness, to the point that I have come to understand that being vulnerable by publishing my book pushed away all the accumulated negative ju-ju that I didn’t even know I had gathered. So, the lesson here is if you have things you have always wanted to do but haven’t out of fear, then do them anyway. Somehow, that action brings an unexpected cloudburst of cooperation, collaboration, and camaraderie in a way that is difficult to explain but is very real. I know because I am experiencing it every day.

So, hooray for the past five years. Who knew that 68-72 would be so exciting, fruitful, and inspiring? I am happier than I’ve ever been in my life and more fulfilled. This is yet another example of how letting go of that crippling fear of failure has rained down abundance in every area of my life.