A few days ago, I read a short piece of flash fiction to a writing group I was participating in. Among the comments about the piece, one of the members said to me, “You have a great ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.” She was speaking about putting myself into the shoes of the main character, someone very different than I am. My response to my fellow writer was, “Thank you so much. That is, in fact, my life’s goal.”

Growing up, my father said to me routinely, “Always try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. That will help you to not only understand them better but also to realize that people are people are people.” Over the course of my life, I have come to realize that my dad was right. We all need and want the same things: to be loved, understood, heard, valued, and respected. All of us, big and small, rich and poor, up or down want to have someone say to us, “I get what you’re saying. You’re not crazy. I’d feel the same way you’re feeling if I were going through what you’re going through. Sounds like you’re feeling hurt, sad, disappointed, scared, misunderstood, neglected, disrespected.”

We all do better when we have loving arms around us rather than face rejection and fear. We all appreciate the kindness of strangers as well as those close to us. We all want to feel safe, secure, unafraid, and protected. No one wakes up and says, “Today I want to feel disconnected, unloved, unvalued, or alienated.” We all want to feel safe enough when someone offers their support to have the courage to allow them into our lives.

The truth is that some of us are luckier than others. We’ve had more advantages, more time, positive attention, focus, love, and money. Others of us have suffered through no fault of our own. Some are stumbling through life because of circumstances that would break most of us and yet they keep going. Some do break and then through faith and hope and love figure out a way to put themselves back together and move forward. Others are not so lucky. They can’t overcome whatever circumstances, physical, emotional, or psycho-social, they have been born into and they elect to consciously call it quits. The pain these people experience is so great that thoughts of love and hope simply can’t get through. They say enough and that is all there is. Their enough is ironic because in their lives there simply was not enough of the critical ingredients for a happy life: enough love, safety, guidance, and money.

Thank you, Papa, for your wisdom. Your words serve me well every day, and I hope they also help me bring a little more compassion to a world sorely in need of love, understanding, and kindness.

Thank you, also, to my fellow writer for acknowledging a personality trait of mine that I sometimes don’t realize I have. Your words made me feel seen, heard, and valued. Thank you for that wonderful gift. I am grateful.