Okay, so it’s happened: I looked up and realized my kids have grown up. Yes, okay, so Sarah IS 29, Liz 26 and Rachael 20, but you don’t understand, I’ve been a Mother with a capital M for the past almost 30 years. And Ray has been a Father with the same focused interest.
Alas, last night we looked at each other and said, “Sure is quiet around here.”
Yes, it is.
Don’t get me wrong. I am thrilled my children are up and out and doing well. I couldn’t be happier. And grandchildren are not in the picture for now. They will be, I know, at some point, but not for a while.
So…this is where you, my older friends, come in. What have you done to not look at the next 30 years of your life and go, “Oh, boy…”
I am completely serious. I truly do want to know. A second career? Hobbies? Volunteer work? Basket weaving? I mean really….what is a healthy way to approach my 60’s and the years that will hopefully come after? I happen to know many of you are happy, healthy and living vital lives, so what are the secrets? Obviously, sitting and staring at television for long periods of time is not one of them…unless you’re tired from doing other things.
Keep in mind, I am not retired. Will not be retiring soon unless that money from the lottery shows up and, oops, I’ll need to start buying tickets for that to happen. But my work is settled. That seems to be the problem. Everything is settled. Has been in a routine that has run on high gear for a long time. I like high gear. Okay, maybe not HIGH gear, but I like to strike a pace. So, please don’t tell me it’s time to settle in and wait to die. Not that any of you will because none of you have.
So, with that, I will await your wisdom. Please do respond. I am dead serious. Guidance is needed. The crickets are chirping around here and while I normally like that sound, not when it’s so loud I can’t quite hear the television.
With that, I’m sitting here waiting. So, please tell me something!
Thanks in advance.
20 Minutes a Day 
I’m 72 so I guess I meet the requirement of an older reader. I was blessed in that from the time I was about 12, I always saw myself living as I do now, traveling this country full time. At the age of 60, I fell passionately in love with birds, which added a bonus reason for traveling. My advice is to find something you can be passionate about, something that makes you want to get up every morning. My writing, along with the travel and birds, do that for me. It would be great, since you are a pair, if it was something you could share. But there’s also something to be said for doing your own thing. I see my writing as being my primary occupation when I have to plant roots. I think one always needs a passion for something.
Yes, Pat, I was hoping you’d respond. I see you live your life with purpose and passion. The two P’s. I love that at 60 is when you fell in love with birds. That means I can still fall in love, too, with something new. Thank you for sharing!
I still have children at home, so not there yet, but will be here one day. I imagine myself after all of my advocacy and organizing to change the way things are, (public school system,raising money for this and that) it’s been hard to do with kids, but when my kids are gone I could devote more time to causes I am passionate about; Obama would love to have you on board working to help get reelected, you’re smart, vibrant, anyone would want you on their team. Maybe you can expand your concern for the homeless into something bigger, Pick a cause you are both passionate about, maybe you can help with their literature and writing? You are a great writer have you ever thought of trying grant writing? Rather than spend your life in ‘retirement’ playing shuffleboard, you and Ray could really still make a difference and help change the world.
Thanks, Elizabeth. Yes, I’ve been thinking about those “causes” that might add more dimension to my life. Helping the homeless to tell their stories is definitely something I am considering. And, it’s true, political involvement could be stimulating. I think I need to make a list of these suggestions so I can start actively planning a shift. Thanks!
First finish the party celebrating you’ve successfully gotten the progeny out of the house and on their own paths to fame and fortune. When you recuperate, make a list of items you have put off doing for whatever reason. Drill down to those things you have a burning desire to do and throw yourself into them. Above all find a balance between leaving the world a better place than you found it and having fun for the sake of having fun. Now I shall change out of my pontifical robes and go feed the donkeys.
Thanks, Parker. Yes, I like finishing the launching party first! Also, that list idea makes sense and the “burning desire.” Plus, the balance between good works and fun. Perhaps like that the best. Thanks so much.
Forward planning EARLY is a great idea. I started planning for my retirement three years before I actually did. My daughter had moved out. I was a single mother, alone in a BIG house. That was thirteen years ago. I became a homestay hostess / mom for ESL (English as a second language) students. They ranged in age from 15 to 60. For ten years I did that but then things were getting too unpredictable so I quit that. I love cooking so it was a win/win situation as the newcomers were afraid of our food but I was able to tickle their tastebuds. I continued working my day job for the first seven of those years.
I took up journaling and writing more. I’ve never been happier. I have another story to share about what happened next but will save it for a post. Good luck. At least you will have company in your retirement.
We’ve actually talked about the idea of having people come and be with us in the house. We’re a little iffy on that, however, since we just got our freedom. I haven’t thought about homestay, however, for ESL students. That sounds interesting. The gist is to plan, I see that. I’m on my way with all of this helpful advice. Thanks so much.
Sorry I cannot be of much help, having no children. How about a houseful of pets…
Ha! Not a bad idea. We’ve already got two. More might be merrier! Thanks for a smile.
Cats. Lots of cats.
Ha! How about lots of cats and at least one corgie? My corgie, Cordelia, would love the chance to have lots of cats to play with!