I almost killed Ray and myself on the way to the airport in the predawn hours this morning. I was driving 70 in the HOV lane on Highway 75 going into Dallas and I noticed a sign that indicated that the exit I needed was up ahead. For some reason, I saw what I thought was the gray pavement leading to the exit and I turned. Ray screamed, “What are you doing?” just as the front wheels rose up the side of the wall of the elevated roadway. I jerked the car straight, righted the situation and we flew on down the road. Ray said in a shaky voice, “What was that?”

The truth was I thought I had seen the exit. These eyes aren’t what they used to be. But what I realized in that moment is that’s how people die in accidents – fast, unintentionally, a miscalculation with fatal consequences.

It’s funny how we get settled in a routine in life, assume it’s how things will always be, then suddenly or maybe not so suddenly, something happens, and life is different forever after. I’m sitting here on the plane this morning heading back to LA wondering what lessons I could garner from my recent miscalculation.

In no particular order, let me lay down my thoughts.

1) Life is unpredictable. Relax and recognize that now is now and that’s about it.
2) When faced with one’s imminent demise, all those piddly worries that seem so important, cease to hold any merit at all.
3) Listen when your husband yells. He might be saying something important.
4) Drive slower. If you’re running late, you can always take a later plane.
5) Move your body daily. Those quick reflexes can really make a difference.
6) Stay in the present. Brooding doesn’t do any good and can make you less attentive to factors that keep you safe.
7) Don’t expect so much of yourself. Nobody else really cares when you really get down to it.
8) Enjoy the little things. Life is full of them, they’re good, and they cumulatively add quality to your life.
9) Enjoy all those small interactions with people. They add spice to life and reassure you that things are not nearly as bad as everybody always says they are.
10) Don’t waste time on stuff you don’t love. Time may be shorter than you were planning.
11) Be grateful for the prosperity in your life, for the people you love and for all the opportunities you’ve been given.
12) Forgive other people and most of all, yourself. Again, nobody really cares as much as you think they do. They are too busy worrying about their own lives.
13) Do something you love everyday and spend at least some time everyday outdoors enjoying nature.
14) Go buy some pretty underwear. You never know when an EMT might be cutting off your clothes.
15) Get organized. Don’t leave the kids with a bunch of junk to deal with. They will not appreciate it.
16) Love hard.
17) Have more fun. Get the bike out and ride it.
18) Continue developing your spiritual life. You may find out there really is an Afterlife. (And if there isn’t, then all that time in contemplation just adds to personal depth.)
19) Maybe it’s time to lower the deductible on the health insurance.
20) Say, “I love you,” often to those you do and let go of any minor concerns that keep you from appreciating how lucky you are to have these people in your life.

I am happy I didn’t die this morning and/or kill Ray. That would have been an unfortunate ending to what has been a very special time here in Texas honoring the memory of my sweet sister-in-law. It was clearly not my time – or Ray’s – thank God. But that “time” is not always when you think it’ll be and it does not hurt to savor every day.

I am grateful for the great gifts in my life: the people, the prosperity, the opportunity, and the places I’ve been lucky enough to live.

Amen, I say. Amen.

Please feel free to add any other “Lessons to Live By” in the comment section. I’m sure I’ve missed many.